So this is my time to write about myself, it's awkward to attempt this, for what should I say? Well, I have to start somewhere...
according to the Myer-Briggs personality test, I am a INFJ (introvert, intuitive, feeling, judgmental), the rarest personality type
for guys, So indeed thanks to Myer-Briggs I now know why I am a black sheep in a world of white ones. According to the
classic temperament profile I'm a phlegmatic/melancholy with a pinch of sanguine. My love language is quality time and
affirmation, the lack of which in my life explains the art and songs in the relationship part of my website. I am dyslexic which
I hope may help you understand why there are countless typos, grammatical errors and misspelled words in this website, it's
not from lack of trying. Oh and speaking of dyslexia, from what I've read, this may go to explain why I am so artistic, creative
and inclined to think outside of the box, there is an upside to my learning disability. Oh, I am A.D.D too, which makes it
incredibly hard for me to get much done on this website. Finally, I was home-schooled and well this explains a lot as well.
My interest are the ologies; philosophy, theology, sociology, psychology, scientology... oh wait... that's a cult... so yeah, I like
science though I don't have a brain for it, and history is cool as well, my dyslexia makes it hell to remember facts and dates
though. I've never gone to college, so what I know about these fields of interest are from books.
I am a seasonal creature, for a season I am obsessed with theology or philosophy (during which times I've sadly burned
bridges with my friends who lack such interest, since I failed to keep my mouth shut) and other times I am in a creative
drawing or painting season, and I hash out new works of art right and left. Then the photography season comes. Sometimes
that horrible season comes along when I feel so terribly lonely and the fact that I am single and every girl I've ever pursued
has refused doesn't give me much hope, all of this however is good for some moody poetry. One of my favorite seasons is the
ones when I am ubber responsible and productive, creating do-to-list and get tons done, during these times I eat right,
exercise, work on this website, spend time God, visit people and make phone calls. I also have the seasons of insight, when
all is right in the world, and I commune with God throughout the day, I am joyful around people and I feel a richness life. Oh I
wish such times would last. But again and again I witness as all that I worked for, the new shoots of life, the good habits I was
forming and my blessed new insights, I watch as it's trampled without mercy into the mud, I feel so helpless it seems nothing
could be done, to prevent the madness the envelopes my soul and the chemical imbalance that renders me an imbecile. I have
chronic fatigue, which for me means I go through times where I just don't care, I feel anti-social, irritable and I feel unwilling
and near unable to do anything but escaping into a vice. During such times I feel restless and aimless and yeah, these are the
worst seasons of all.
The biggest thorn in my side, has been my lack of motivation, persistence and drive, couple this with love of pleasure and
comfort and lack back-bone when it comes to resisting temptation. Every strength that the choleric temperament has, I am void
off. But indeed because of my INFJ personality, I am an idealist and I have a sense of how I want to live, so there is conflict, a
step forward, two back, three forward on one back... then another step back and... Much of my art and music expresses how
there is a destination I want to reach, yet it's like my tank runs out of fuel and I feel stranded. I am like a rechargeable battery, I
can take months charge and within a short time I am completely drained. As you can tell, I love metaphors and analogies,
which according to what I heard is also because I am dyslexic. Bizarre... I know.
If a genie in a bottle offered me 3 wishes. Hmm... First, I'd think I'd choose an endless source of energy. 2nd I'd want the
will and ability to love God with all my heart, mind, soul and strength and 3rd I'd want some friends with whom I deeply
connect with, who have similar interest and who have the time for me. Sigh... That really sums it up, within energy I could
finally consistently be self-controlled and disciplined. And yes, how nice it would be to be able to practice the presence of
God. And my, the last one makes me wistful, to find some people who like me as much as I like them. I am a freak, and people
with whom I connect with are like 1 in 10,000 and among them, finding someone with the time and resolve to have a close
Well, this is long enough. One last thing about me. I am long winded. Well, unless it's small talk, then I am hardly anything to